Hopefully it won't be this bad on the return trip with Bernardo and hisīernardo! I can't believe I'm minutes away from becoming someone's little sister. The two tummies are practically holding me up in the carriage. 'Where I come from, there's never any problem.' Well, London isn't the Philippines, Mum. 'I don't understand,' she always argues at the Tesco Express. She's so short she needs an ID to prove she's old enough to buy wine at the supermarket. I'm the smallest in Year Eight and I'm still taller than her. Tall, you hear me?' Does she think I needed impressing? I mean, Mum isn't exactly God's gift to the human race in the 'Don't be surprised now, Andi, your brother is tall. Why is Mum so psycho about Bernardo being tall? She's been going on about it since we found out he was coming to London. 'But William' - Mum glares at his chin - 'he's so TALL!' Which isn't a stretch because the crowd is pushing them so close together his face is practically pasted to her head. 'I just want to make sure we're there when he comes out.' 'It'll be ages yet, Mary Ann,' he whispers into her ear. She's fidgeting so hard and the train's so crowded. Which she probably has.ĭad's got his arm around her like a lock. I am wedged between the tummies of the two fattest men in the world. The whole world is heading out to Heathrow to meet long-lost relatives.
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